Black Women Don't Deserve "good men"!!!

At least not for now! I say this not to cause a stir but to have an honest discussion. Black women constantly complain about their inability to find a good man, yet they have been unable to TRULY look at themselves and ask, why? Is it possible that all Black men are just so horrible that no matter how hard you try you won't be able to find a good one? Maybe. But we need to ask ourselves, who is responsible for the upbringing of these "no good men".

As usual, while on a traditional blog, I realized Black women were horrifically critical of Rhianna's first interview since being beaten by Chris Brown. I also noticed that Black women are extremely cruel and hateful in their responses towards her. Most Black females felt that, "people get their ass beat all the time, what makes you so special"? Many Black females felt it was a ploy to sell records or that she needed to "get over it". Very few were supportive of what she had been through. It then hit me that Black women can't find "good men" because they don't deserve him. Why should a female who supports domestic violence, rape, molestation, pedophilia, etc be entitled a "good man" who respects ALL women?

I believe Black females find it so hard to find a "good man" because they usually end up with a man who is a reflection of all the things they defended in life! When a Black female defends an R. Kelly, what are the odds she will end up with a Barack Obama? None. If Black females wish to date and marry men who are not morally corrupt, then these women must stop being morally corrupt themselves. The need to relieve Black women of this moral defunct is imperative to the Black family's survival. If we wish to have young men within our communities who love and respect women on a BASIC level, we need to have a community full of women who love and respect themselves and womanhood on a BASIC level. Black women who hate women and womanhood raise their sons to hate women just as much as they do. This is why so many males who grow up in a house full of women is capable of hating women with a passion. Just the other day in my class, two students, one male and one female, got into an argument about the Chris Brown situation. The girl was arguing that women who hit men should be beaten down like men and she had no problem with what Chris Brown did. My male student argued that as a man, you have a moral responsibility to not hit women. Clearly this female student would not be worthy of a "good man", as this young man tried to explain to her his definition of manhood and she refused it. This is represented in the fact she is currently pregnant for someone who is refusing responsibility for her child.

We need to understand that Black women are the back bone of the community and what we defend will determine the climate and culture of our neighborhoods in reference to women. Women are the fruit bearers and if Black women continue to bear rotten fruit (by raising their sons to hate women and teaching their daughters to hate themselves) then we cannot continue to feel sorry for those women who complain about being mistreated by men. We as Black women need to understand we are JUST as responsible for how we are perceived because we ourselves reinforce that mentality daily. Until Black women are ready to handle this task, then they should continue to not be able to find good men.

Apparently in Black Talk , "Exploitation" Really Means: "To be Put ON BLAST"!

Today while visiting a blog, I noticed a posting which stated that a rapper by the name of Shawty Lo posted naked pictures of an unsuspecting female on his myspace page. The MAJORITY of the Black women responding thought that not only was this appropriate, but the victim "has it coming" or "got what she deserved". At no point did these Black women recognize this for what it is: Exploitation. It appears that Black women have such a low sense of their value that they believe it is not possible for them to be exploited.

Obviously, I am not recommending that women send naked pictures of themselves to males, however, the issue is not about good judgment, the issue is exploitation. Why do Black women feel that when a Black woman makes a mistake she deserves the HARSHEST punishment possible? Black women continue to use the old rhetoric about "respecting yourself", yet no one thought it was disrespectful to exploit this woman. This is the true devastation of the slavery: Black women have been exploited so much they have not only become accustomed to it but adapted it and made it their own.

We as Black women are trying so hard to convince ourselves that things like this only happen to "those whores who has it coming", yet we ignore that fact that 70% of us are single, that most of our children are born out of wedlock, that we have the highest HIV rate, that rape, child molestation, and domestic violence runs rampant in our communities and that we are the LEAST likely of women to be married or viewed as marriage material. Why is this important? All these numbers show an alarming trend of a lack of respect and value for Black women. Sitting around commending rappers who exploit us does not make us LEAST likely to be exploited or treated badly. It simply reinforces the idea that Black women should not be respected or valued. It simply adds credibility to the culture of hatred for our women.

Black women, you MUST Wake up!

On NewsVIne!

HEllO Progressivers!,

I finally decided to promote my blog more vigilantly and other than cards I had created, I am also on Newsvine. Please look me up @ www.TheProgressiveBlackWoman.newsvine.com.

Peace.